Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
