i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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