Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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