she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
