i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
