Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
