At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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