i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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