my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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