girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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