If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
