Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
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laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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