i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
