do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
