proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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