Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
from now on my penis is your penis
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
