1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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