your thong is hanging out like whoa
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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