I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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