Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
