I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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