i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I didn't notice because vodka
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
