How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
