Don't make out with my wife yet
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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