let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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