woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
