Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
