It's like God shit irony all over that family
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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