Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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