well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
