Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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