that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize