im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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