Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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