I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
