you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
