haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon