I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak