he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
