some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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