dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
