just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!