just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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