Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.

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  (816): I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart. http://tfl.nu/md27
  Replies (5) Good night (698) Bad night (1183)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure

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  (506): drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure http://tfl.nu/j4nn
  Replies (12) Good night (3045) Bad night (1015)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.

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  (914): I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room. http://tfl.nu/ia7u
  Replies (8) Good night (798) Bad night (3549)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking

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  (805): im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking http://tfl.nu/diqd
  Replies (26) Good night (4326) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over

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  (706): You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over http://tfl.nu/x2t5
  Replies (318) Good night (5525) Bad night (3012)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining

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  (541): You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining http://tfl.nu/2n0l
  Replies (11) Good night (6001) Bad night (1019)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.

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  (860): Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life. http://tfl.nu/zt1o
  Replies (21) Good night (2318) Bad night (4798)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him

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  (314): i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him http://tfl.nu/pw5n
  Replies (36) Good night (7303) Bad night (2047)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.

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  (413): the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings. http://tfl.nu/xbcs
  Replies (11) Good night (9003) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...

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  (202): Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again... http://tfl.nu/efr4
  Replies (5) Good night (3013) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i had confetti in my bra

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me

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  (210): i had confetti in my bra (1-210): i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me http://tfl.nu/08sl
  Replies (25) Good night (4054) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again

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  (678): Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again http://tfl.nu/8daz
  Replies (14) Good night (2944) Bad night (2024)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?

  (718): View more from New York

  Keg backpack and a Bike

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  (315): I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED? (718): Keg backpack and a Bike http://tfl.nu/7afi
  Replies (4) Good night (1760) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"

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  (716): I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!" http://tfl.nu/0j2g
  Replies (15) Good night (1504) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.

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  (334): I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy. http://tfl.nu/753g
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (298)

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