Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
