Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You are the jesus of drinking
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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