You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
