You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
