I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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