Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
