I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
