if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
