I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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