She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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