I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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