like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
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He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
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I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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