Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
