haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
