dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
