a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
