Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
