he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
