They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
